Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Breath ...

Breathe …
Cause you wont fall now
Breathe …
And slowly breathe
Cause sun blesses your vow
And the downpour

Breathe …Then smile
Through the darkness
Believe … Then imagine
You are still you ..

My tears are in heaven
Where the angles are
My soul is up playing
On a merciful harp
And beyond the stars
I hope to be
Always, where you are

Breathe …
Cause you wont fall tonight
Together we will rise
Cause no one is left to fight …
For the tenderness of light

Please Breathe
This wind over sees …
Please Breath
So I can breathe …

Nour Badr
Mon. 19/10/09
10:00 pm

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Mourning ...

In the middel of the night .. the sky of Gaza lighted up but it wasnt Fireworks, it was Phosphorus & Cluster bombs !
Israel Declared the war on Gaza, on Unarmed people (women, children, old men and families) and made them its target ...

Army fully equipped with all weapons - Internationally prohibited weapons :
*Ground-based weapons
* weapons the air
* the Navy

2008-9 Gaza-Israel war casualties mainly for the period between Dec. 27, 2008 to Jan. 18, 2009. but in the end, the Resistance was the winner .
Anyone is going to read this, know this is responsable infront of God, himself, this world and the humanity ... you have to know the truth, search for it, light up people and puplish it.
Write, Draw, Speak, Sing, ... Do the best you can to help and support .. To spread the truth about what is happening and happend in Gaza and Palestine.

Monday, December 14, 2009


Owl City - "Fireflies"


You Would Not Believe Your Eyes
If Ten-Million Fireflies
Lit Up the World
As I Fell Asleep
Cause they fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude
But I Would Just Stand And Stare

(I'd Like to make myself believe)
(That Planet Earth turns Slowly)
(It's hard to say That I'd Rather Stay awake when I'm Asleep)
(Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems)

Cause I'd Get A thousand Hugs
From Ten-thousand Lightning Bugs
As They Try To Teach me How To Dance

A Fox Trot Above my Head
A Sock Hop Beneath My Bed
A Disco Ball is Just Hanging By a Thread

I'd Like to make myself believe
That Planet Earth turns Slowly
It's hard to say That I'd Rather Stay awake when I'm Asleep
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems
(When I Fall Asleep)

Leave My Door Open Just a Crack
(Please Take Me Away From Here)
Cause I Feel Like Such an Insomniac
(Please Take Me Away From Here)
Why Do I Tire of Counting Sheep
(Please Take Me Away From Here)
When I'm Far Too Tired To Fall Asleep

To Ten-Million Fireflies
I'm Weird cause I Hate Goodbyes
I Got Misty Eyes
As They Said Farewell
(Said Farewell)
But I'll Know Where Several Are
If My Dreams Get Real Bizarre
Cause I'd Save a Few
And I'd Keep Them In A Jar (Jar)

I'd Like to make myself believe
That Planet Earth turns Slowly
Its hard to say That I'd Rather Stay awake when I'm Asleep
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems
(When I Fall Asleep)
I'd Like to make myself believe
That Planet Earth turns Slowly
It's hard to say That I'd Rather Stay awake when I'm Asleep
Cause Everything Is Never As It Seems
(When I Fall Asleep)

(I'd Like to make myself believe)
(That Planet Earth turns Slowly)
(It's hard to say That I'd Rather Stay awake when I'm Asleep)
(Because My Dreams Are Bursting At The Seems)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Stranger

I’m crying like a river
But it’s running inside my eyes
My heart is like a fire
Making my soul flying ashes
People say she’s a liar
But it’s all in my heart rays

Everything is standing here
To remind me
I’m everything I’ve got
No gain but pain
Even in my paper and pen

So, I’m crying like a river
And my heart is like a fire

They said you may some day
Play with magic
Travel through time
And save your last past
But everything is standing here
To remind me
I am the only thing I’ve got

That’s why
I’m crying like a river
And my heart is a fire

Are you my friend?
Do you know me?
Is this kind of an end?
Is this what you see?
Don’t lie to me
Cause it’s all laying
In my heart beats

“Oh, maybe there’s a reason
For this treason”

I’m crying like a river
And it’s running in my eyes
My heart is like a fire
Making my soul flying ashes
But everything is standing here
To remind me
“No pain no gain
Even when I hold my pen
To write a fairytale”

Nour Badr
Monday 16/11/09
9:11 pm “listing to westlife”

Friday, December 4, 2009

Gunpowder Plot Heroes

P JazzMan (Imad Asaalwa)


'Gunpowder Plot'By: Crispijn van de Passe the Elder (1565-1637)

In the picture:

  • Thomas Bates (died 1606), Conspirator.

  • Robert Catesby (1573-1605), Conspirator.

  • Guy Fawkes (1570-1606), Conspirator.

  • Thomas Percy (1560-1605), Organiser of the 'Gunpowder Plot'.

  • Robert Winter (died 1606), Conspirator.

  • Thomas Winter (1572-1606), Conspirator; brother of Robert Winter.

  • Christopher Wright (1570?-1605), Conspirator.

  • John Wright (1568?-1605), Conspirator; brother of Christopher Wright.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

(V) Remember, Remember .. The Fifth of November

The dawn of the fifth of November is about to break the dark, I dont know if Bigpen is going to "Bing .. Bing" or explod ... but:

Remember Remember .. The Fifth of November

Gunpowder, treason and polt.

I see no reason, Why gunpowder treason.

should ever be forgoten.


"A specail Thank You to my Dearest Imad, cause this video was a amazing Gift"

V: I can assure you, I mean you now harm.

Evey: Who are you?

V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask.

Evey: well, I can see that.

V: of course you can. I’m not questioning your power of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

Evey: oh, right.

V: but on this most Auspicious of nights permit me then, in lieu of the more Commonplace Soubriquet to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila in view a humble Vaudevillian veteran Cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage no mere veneer of vanity is a vanity vestige of vox populi now vacant vanished. However, this valorous visitation of bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal, virulent, vermin, van guarding, vice vouch safing the violently vicious and voracious voila of … (I’ve got lost here, and couldn’t catch him) …

The only vengeance; is verdict a vendetta held as a votive not in vain for the value and vera and veracity of such shall one day the vigilant and the virtuous ....

(he laughed ...)

verily this vichyssoise of verbiage most verbose, so let me simply add that's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V .

Evey: Are you a like crazy person?
V: I'm Quite sure they will say so.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Dr. Dr. Mutafa Mahmoud (R.I.P) .... Lives in my Memorie ....

About him ... : From Wiki.

Mustafa Kamal Mahmoud Husayn (Arabic: مصطفى كمال محمود حسين‎) (25 December 192131 October 2009) commonly known as Mustafa Mahmud (Arabic: مصطفى محمود‎) was an Egyptian scientist and a prolific author. Dr. Mustafa Mahmoud was born in Shibin el-Kom, Munufiyya province, Egypt. He was trained as a doctor, but later chose a career as a journalist and author, traveling widely and writing on many subjects.

Childhood and Youth

Mustafa Mahmud says that he was raised in a middle-class family. His father was employed as a secretary in the province of El Gharbiyya. He was a pious man with a model character - exemplary behavior, patience, endurance, persistence and work. He steadfastly performed his Prayers at the mosque, even the Dawn Prayer which he used to perform in congregation. Furthermore, he was affectionate to his children and sacrificed himself for their sake as did his mother.

Mustafa Mahmud says he led his early life in a pleasant atmosphere wherein there was no oppression or violence. Rather, he enjoyed freedom and responsibility. In his early age in elementary school, he failed three years consecutively, yet he was left without any reproach or blame. In his childhood, he used to lay down ill. Thus, he was deprived of enjoying rough play, and running, which the children used to indulge in. He remained an introvert and spent his early days in imagination and dreams. He dreamed of being a great inventor or a discoverer or a traveler or a famous scientist. His role models were Christopher Columbus, Edison, Marconi and Pasteur.

Living in Tanta next to As Sayyid El Badawy Mosque, attending the celebrations in El Mawlid (a religious festival) and the Sufi and Dervishes' recitals all had a great influence on his psychological and innovative structure.

Mustafa Mahmud's father suffered from paralysis for seven years and died in 1939. His death occurred after he had finished his secondary school, when he was making the decision to join the Faculty of Medicine. Shortly thereafter, his family left Tanta for Cairo along with his mother.
Mustafa Mahmud had described his life during adolescence as similar to that of the taming an unruly horse, the bridle of which was free for one time, and controlled for many others. The struggle was so hard, as it went on for a long time, leaving behind a body covered by wounds and contusions.

Medical Studies

Mustafa Mahmud chose Medicine as a field of study. In his autobiography, he says that felt content with it, and that he would be able to acquire science and knowledge of the mysteries. The study was intense, and it required strong desire, concentration, and devotion. Even though he needed to be more strict with himself, he was ambitious and his love for science and knowledge inspired him. However, he was often dissatisfied because of his feebleness; most of the time his ailing body forced me to stay in bed.

In his third year of studies he was admitted into hospital for two years of treatment. He describes this long isolation as a positive contribution to the development of his character, when he could indulge himself totally to reading and thinking of literary works. In these two years, the meditative character was fashioned within himself, and thus the writer was born.
After his recovery, he resumed his medical studies and says that he subsequently realized an immense change within himself. He discovered within himself the artist who reflects, reads, and peruses regularly the major sources of literature, plays, and novels. Owing to this new activity, (which in no time he became an expert at), he began to write regularly to the newspapers, (in his final year of Medicine). Accordingly, he had to intensify his effort to graduate and attain success. He started writing for El Tahrir and Rose El Yusef magazines. Due to his illness he graduated two or three years after his colleagues, in 1953.

He states that illness, suffering, and long isolation in the hospital caused his talents to gush forth … and pain was the very effective source and the real motive for all of those positive characteristics and benefits he developed as a human, a man of letters and a thinker. Pain also refined his character, made his innate nature so clear, revealed his religious sense , which led to his enlightenment, awareness and remembrance of Allah.

Journey from Doubt to Faith

Mustafa Mahmud says that it was not due to denial or obstinacy or disbelief. It was only reexamining a methodology, of which he started without long-established maxims. Along that journey, he was ever close to Allah. Nevertheless, he started thinking of religion from the very beginning… from the beginning of the innate-nature, and what it acknowledges without inherited values. He finished his journey stronger in faith, firmly-established in his belief. The journey had a great influence on all his 100 books he has written.

His frequent journeys

Mustafa Mahmud describes his frequent travels, starting with his journeys to the Tropics in Tanzania, Uganda, Kenya, and the south of Sudan, where he stayed for two months with the tribe of Niam Niam. Thereafter, he traveled to the Sahara Desert, to the oasis of Ghadamis, where he stayed for a month with the tribe of El Tawariq. Furthermore, he traveled to many capitals of European and American countries, such as: Italy, Germany, Greece, France, Canada and the United States; and to the Arab countries, beginning with Morocco and Algeria in the west; and ending with Lebanon, Syria and Saudi Arabia in the east.

There was another journey, one within himself; he boarded the ship of science, knowledge, philosophy, and religion (starting from the Indian Fideism, Zoroaster, Buddha; and ending with Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad. Finally he found his comfort and himself in the Qur'an. Thus he concluded his traveling, and devoted himself totally to reflection and contemplation. He lived among the jurists, scholars, and Sufis, and found that the Qur'an is an ocean around which all the branches of knowledge gather together.

He wrote five books criticizing the Marxist thought: Islamic left Fib; Marxism and Islam; Leftism Collapse; Why Did I Refuse Marxism?; and The Antichrist. He was persuaded that Marxism was one of the pickaxes which destroyed the current civilization; at worst, it was an instrument that caused the creation of a spiteful, negative and rejecting character. He has seventy-five books published, six of them were adapted for stage: (Earthquake; Man and Shade; The Great Alexander; The Social Gang (Shilla-t 'Uns); Blood Odor; The Devil Lives in our House), one of them (The Impossible) was presented as a film; twenty-five books deal with Islamic subjects; and the rest consists of studies and short stories. TV presented for him more than four hundred parts of the program "Science and Faith", in which the movie, scientific substance and Sufi meditation guide us to the faith in Allah.

In the very beginning of his writing literature, he met El Aqqad, who used to give him a hand by reading his writings to the attendants in the meeting held by Aqqad on Fridays, and also by publishing them in the Al Rissala (The Message) Magazine in the year 1947. He also met Kamal El Shinnawy, because of his help he was able to publish Mustafa Mahmud's articles in the Akher Sa`ah (the Last Hour) Magazine in the year 1948.

In the year 1960,he left his medical career, devoting himself totally to writing for newspapers. As a physician, moving from one hospital to another (particularly, among the Hospitals of Chest Diseases in Abbasiyya, Chest diseases in 'Almazha, Chest diseases in Dumyat, and the dispensary of Umm el-Masriyyeen), between the years 1953 and 1960, all had a great influence on his writings, principally: Storehouse No. 7 (`Anbar 7), the Social Gang (Shilla-t 'Uns), and Eating Bread (Akl-`Aysh). In the meantime, it had an influence on his scientific and anatomical access to the public adversities, to the human soul and to the characters he dealt with in all his writings.

Another character who had a profound effect on him was his father, whose long-time illness, patience, faith, and pure innate nature remained in his mind throughout his life. As he grew older and encountered life's affairs in his thirties, a woman played a great role in and had an effectual control on his life, as a friend, a dialogist, and a lover. His faults were always due to losing control of himself when he looked at any beautiful things. Above all, he believed that no man is a perfect one unless he has found a woman to love, to marry, to have children with, and to feel parenthood and establish a family.


Mustafa Mahmud says that his first marriage in 1961 was not successful, though from it , he was endowed with a girl and a boy, Amal and Adham. The marriage ended in 1973. His second marriage in 1983 was also unsuccessful and ended in 1987. The reason behind these divorces was the passion of writing that controlled his life, his preoccupation with his work and finally his isolation. Yet both of them were to be blamed.

As soon as the second marriage had ended, he devoted himself totally to his mission and his goal, working as a Muslim scholar, a writer, and a thinker. At last, he was satisfied with this as his fate. Since then, he is residing in a small apartment attached to the mosque that he had built as a part of the Islamic Center in Al Dukki, carrying out his regular work. From his point of view, successful and prosperous work is to give treatment for all the physical and psychological diseases. The ability to convene between work and innovation is the most favored gift bestowed upon mankind from ALLAH.

His thought

On his website, Mustafa Mahmud gives the following opinions about various things:
In the usual course of things, he does not care for malice, envy and enmity, or wasting time arguing against them. He prefers keeping away from these abhorrent qualities and their owners to avoid wasting his power superfluously. The greatest triumph he has achieved in his life according to him was himself. It was as a result of the help of Allah, the strength with which He aided him, the Insight, the Light guiding his life and the virtuous model he had in his father, and his mother beside the righteous family he was brought up within.

The defeat of 1967 and the economic and moral collapse were the actual afflictions, which are still the most important ones, to be afraid of in his country Egypt. The victory of 1973 eased that feeling. Even though, the destructive influence of the communist system was ready to exist in his Egyptian country up till now.

He believes that the Egyptians have to exit from this communist environment, and from the remnants of the common economy brought into being by Abdel Nasser i.e., public sector, aimless free of charge educational system, the equality of workers and farmers in the number of voters, the oppression of a land owner by the tenant of the land whereby the tenant does not have any use of, but sublets it to others, leaving the countryside for cities and towns, agricultural collapse, the spirit of idleness, mutual dependence, envy, malice, alienation, and passive behaviors of which communism rooted in every field in the society.

The Egyptians have to cleanse our society from the fruitless and destructive methods of Abdel Nasser, because new buildings cannot be structured on a decayed foundation, taking into consideration that the building is not to be raised on a ruin. Unfortunately, the Egyptian set of laws is still suffering from Marxian failure, nevertheless the total change in our economic system. The very first problem, the Egyptians have to deal with is education i.e., its system and methods. These are to be completely changed. The very first concern is the focus on the high moral standards of work.

Merging of knowledge and performance is the only way for the economy to prosper, and for the population to change to bless. This is so clear by comparing the population of Japan or India, finding out that the Egyptians are less developed. As a result to working of most of them, India has covered its needs of corn. On the other hand, due to the high employment level, Japan overcame American products. South Korea, Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong have been able to be in the fore-front.

Work is a Kind of worship, blessing and belief. As long as education is exercised at home, in the mosque, in the factories, in the schools, and in the media, the Egyptians would be able to advance all the way. In Singapore, for example, the total number of its population is only three million; the total production exported abroad is about seventy billion dollars. This is tremendous as there is no petroleum, natural gas, iron, copper nor ore deposits. They even used to buy water from their neighbors. Hong Kong is one of the cities that produces and exports a larger amount of products estimated by doubles more than what Egypt, whose population is more than sixty million, exports; this is because of the incredibly high employment rate.

He is wondering, when will the Egyptians emerge from the field of malice, laziness, and the psychological ruin of which our authoritarian governments imbued in them, and become a productive working nation.

At which time are we to return to the normal innate nature, and fresh minds of which the true Muslim is characterized.

He hopes to be "himself" no more, and to introduce to the whole world the best he has to offer, and to go on working until his last breath, close to Allah, asking Him to be pleased with him. Finally, he hopes Allah allows him to leave this world as good as he can.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Dreams, Lines & more Beyond

Picture - From Alex

Since so long, when I had this dream of Nasa and Space, I have a great battel going on inside . Yesterday, when i came back home, I Smelled Kerosene in the hall and I knew they are oil paints. I reminded when my Sis was showing me her Palette of painting; I hold it in my hands and touched gently and it’s all came back to me. I tried to hide me tears and I thought: “this supposes to be mine!” No hard feelings, but really “this supposes to be mine!”.

I was the first to draw,I'm the one who is really feel the paper, colors & How to feel free with them, Who was watching my father during painting and Sculpts on wood, Who was going with him to his work evening since I was a kid, and now, every once and a while I feel like “left over” !

Here is my Space in the Space to write whatever I feel, so, don’t tell my you are selfish, black inside and arrogent cause you don’t dare to say so. Here, where nobody can hear me but you “who can understand this clearly” I am speaking of myself, for once, I need to speak about myself forgetting about people and say “Go to hell”.

Yeah, I admit it…I have lots of talents: Draw, Write, Design, Sing, Sight, Philosophing, Creativety, ……… and other things. I do have all these things. Sometime I can’t believe I exist, and sometime I feel like I am the badass here. I’m not an angle; I’m a unique human being.
Sometime I feel like I am defending myself “believe me, you don’t have to, Nour!” but also in a moment, I believe that my place is behind the red Curtains.

This Thursday, I was watching Troy at 1:00 am and I had strong feeling about the way I’ll die. I was watching Hector and I knew that I am like him in lots of things, and also my dreams at night, and my dream of “how I’ll die in –Wa Nalka Al-Aheba with Amr khaled” and my favorite Cartoons of my childhood “Zoro, Spiderman, Lady Oscar –Rose De Versaille- and batman” they all trying to tell me something, to complete a big puzzle to me of the way of my life from the moment I opened my eyes till the moment of closing them. It’s really big painting and alive too and in the background of all this, big Orchestra is playing a very amazing piece of music “opera, Tango Argantino, Jazz, Irish music, Greek music” they all together dancing cheek to cheek.

Love … Oh, Love … an endless poem so strong like Niagara Falls, a secret place between the stars, small pieces that make my life and smell like sweet Magnolia under the shadow of Linden … it’s what makes this world get wilder and our steps get closer. It’s what make the absence is a sleeping volcano Explode on meeting.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

About Fayroza ...

Little girl named Fayroza … she was born in a small wooden house in the mountains and raised in a beautiful place where everything is so clear … she was so innocent to be born in such world … she was living her life chasing butterflies and collecting roses … her hair was like the golden sun and her cheeks were like apples …

Fayroza was seeing the beauty in everything around whether it was black or white; she has pure emotions to everything and everyone. Love was the thing she was living by, in the beat of her heart, the air that she's breathing, the steps of hers, every wish in her birthday, every kiss and every hug, every word and every smile … all her life is about love … but, nothing stays still !

She was seven years old when she saw some rush crazy man running towards her town screaming "the war is coming … the war is coming!" …
She was watching with terrified eyes, and he was still saying "everyone is coming, every man, every boy, any one can hold a weapon"… during this, she was in a big maze, looking in the frightened eyes of people … she saw cruelness and weakness, savagery and sadness … she couldn’t understand all this nervous air, so she ran to her mum, hold her legs and cried … what's happening?, why is everything turning into a mess after all this peace?. She looked to her mum holding a trodden rose; her mum hid a tear from her …

After a few normal days and she was forgetting a little bit about yesterday … she woke up on some loud noise, she looked from the window, to see great dust in the air, she had no time to wonder, she went straight to her parents’ room, but it was already empty so she ran downstairs to find her mum standing on the door waving to her father.

The war started on the other side of mountains, there was another one started in her town … While there were no men, thieves, mercenary and militia were taking everything, killing everyone. Women couldn’t get out freely to go to markets or to check on their farms; children couldn’t play beside the small river.

Fayroza was sleeping beside her mother dreaming of her heroes saving the town and bringing her father home safe. She dreamed that he came back holding his head up and smiling to her saying that war is over and everything is okay. She was covering herself by his scarf which she is wearing all the time, she was telling her mother that she can smell her daddy’s scent in it, her mother smiles to her and wipes away a fallen tear.


-“Mammy, I’m happy!”
-“And why is that baby?”
-“Because I feel my daddy is near”
-“My heart is telling me this, and I see angels protecting him in my dreams”

Her mother smiled at her sadly. She’s just a little girl, how could she know or understand what’s going on or how wars could be.

-“Mama, why are you smiling? … I know, you don’t believe me, do you?” Fayroza said irritated.
-“I do baby, I do believe you … but in such a world, don’t give your heart a big space, don’t open its door too much and don’t give it to anyone” mother said softly.

Fayroza felt angry and said crying “No body will take the space of my heart; no body can close its door or control it”.

She was crying so hard, she felt something strange and bad in these words of her mother as if her heart is pushed in a tiny box and need to explode but she couldn’t explain this to her mom when she hold her so tight, “I love you mammy”.

Sometimes, Fayroza cries at night alone. She stands on the window of her room looking to the mosque and the sky, speaks to God, and cries as if her mother wouldn’t hear her. She was praying for something she felt but didn’t know exactly what it is. But she always felt like it will be taken away from her. Her mother knows nothing about this but when she was watching her playing -when the town was safe- she felt that despite her innocent and big smile, there’s another world inside her girl, that she has a big heart. It can be hurt from anyone but it can’t die. She was very proud but the fear was killing her.

Days was passing by and the fighters were still in their own battle, the only new thing was a surveillance tower and four soldiers whom were paid by some of those mercenary to cover them and secretly steal food for them, and that disturbed town people for a while but they kept it inside for their kids safety.


It’s been two months now and still there are no signs for the end of this crisis. But this shining little girl had enough life inside to move on, to think of her bright dreams, her colors, papers and the small roses beside the river.

One day she was so happy and playing around her mother. Her heart was beating from happiness as she was telling her mother to put her hand on her chest and feel her beats.
- “I told you, mammy, my heart will never die … you always tell me that God angels are around keeping me safe, aren’t they?” Fayroza said to her mother while she was giving her a kiss.

-“Yes sweetie, you are my pearl and I am sure you have the sea inside” her mother said proudly.
-“What does this mean?”
-“I mean, you have a big heart and a bright mind” said her mother with love.

Fayroza smiled so innocently to her mother while she stopped playing and started drawing something in her small sketch,
-“What are you drawing, baby?”
-“Wait mammy, don’t look now, I’ll show you” Fayroza hid her papers.

Suddenly, Fayroza stopped drawing

- “can you hear mama?”
-“hear what baby?”

She went fast toward the door.
-“Where are you going? … Fayroza, No!”

Her mother shouted loudly, she chased her but Fayroza was standing by the door
-“I told you never to …”

-“It’s my dad…look, he’s coming behind this hill”

By then a covered man showed up, she ran towards him “daddy…” she yelled.
Seeing her, a man from the militia who was trying to hunt a Dove from the beginning of the day thought “let’s try to shoot, maybe I can get her!” putting an evil on his dark dirty face.

Her mother was so happy and so afraid and so …… she didn’t know what her feeling was exactly, she was disturbed and stressed; she thoughts “It’s okay now, he’s here”.

She heard a loud sound that cut off her thoughts; she looked to watch the most unbelievable scene, the fall of all seasons, the fall of time, the fall of innocence. The real treason mixed with the purest blood ever. “Fayroza………!” Fayroza fell on her knees down to the legs of her father with her blood on his shocked face. She collapsed silently. She was falling while the whole world is rising for her.

She was shaking in her father’s hands “you are not … my father!” she said it with a big tear dropping from her small eye then, …the peace lighted up her face. The man didn’t know what to do while her mother was running toward her crying madly “I will kill you, I will kill you monster…I swear I’ll kill you, I’ll tear your heart into pieces”

She bended beside Fayroza trying to catch her breath which was already gone. She saw some curved paper in her daughter hand; she pulled it to see what these little hands were drawing. It was a small family: man, woman and little girl holding their hands and swinging; the blue sky is full with small angels around the sun and big words were written (I love my ...) “she couldn’t even complete her words … she thought…her father is…” she whispered crying; she yelled: “Why…………?” but the answer was death. Eight hot bullets went through her back just to fall beside her daughter … then, the silence again.

In this horrible morning, no one was allowed to carry their bodies to pray and bury them properly. But there were rumors that: a stranger came late at night, crying so hard beside them that they heard his weeping. They saw him taking something then left his hands to the sky in a long pray. Minutes later there was a downpour and the wind was so wild that the river flooded to carry the two bodies away from this sinful land. By the dawn call, nothing remained.

Some say, that this stranger was a guardian angel from God, some say he was the man who witness their death and others say he was her father!

Nour Badr
Friday 21-8-2009
9:00 pm

Monday, September 21, 2009

Muhammad Legacy of Prophet ...

This's a link for a documentary Film about the Holy Prophet Muhammad .. and all the following info. from the same link ..

(I'm A Muslim, And I'm Proud)


Muhammad Legacy of Prophet
1:53:49 - 1 year ago

Muhammad Legacy of Prophet This documentary Film about the Holy Prophet and prayers for better delivery movie tells the story of the seventh century prophet, which changed world history in 23 years, and continue the formation of life More than 1.2 billion people.

The film takes viewers not only to the Middle East ancient sites Mohammed reflected in the story, but to homes and mosques and sites of some of the work American Muslims who arrive Their number to seven million Muslims, for the discovery of several forms of those who follow the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him ( Muhammad Legacy of Prophet ) Film production by channel (PBS) of America ..

Terms of production and preparation .. show for the first time on December 18, 2002 to watch the millions .. Then re-broadcast the film in other channels more than 500 times and translated into some 12 languages Re-introduced in a number of countries and is also available in more than 23 schools and libraries Strong reaction from the American side, where the channel channel (PBS) Received more than 8000 e-mail! During the first month of supply and press, which Interaction with largely positive.

film show personality Prophet Muhammad and his religion .. Holy Prophet in a aspect very wonderful All this is based on the novels (correct) Mentioned by historians and intellectuals and university professors in the United States of America ------------- For more information on the movie channel, please visit the product Web site:

Or more information about the Prophet Muhammad Visit the site of Prophet Mohammed of Islam :

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Love in the Time of Cholera - Gabriel García Márquez

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Love in the Time of Cholera (Spanish: El amor en los tiempos del cólera) is a novel by Nobel Prize winning Colombian author Gabriel García Márquez that was first published in Spanish in 1985, with an English translation released in 1988 by Alfred A. Knopf. An English-language film adaptation was released in 2007.

- I've heard of it from Dr. Ahmed Khaled Tawfik, he said it's great novel to great author ... I've saw it in Diwan book store in cairo but i didnt buy it yet. Soon, I'll have and read it. I'll tell what i think of it then !

If you read it, saw the movie, you can share your thoughts with me here.

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From Amazon :

PDF e-book :

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Between Two Philosophies !

This was a Conversation between Jeremiah and Me :
I Asked Him :

What do you thik of this Quote I said: "The Truth May Hide Between Light & Shadow"

Jeremiah: A void is a zone that contains absolutely nothing. No ground, no air, gravity, nothing at all. It proceeds in all directions forever, the thought frightens me actually, and however they exist within the gap between dimensions and universes. Much different from the place when those dimensions I understand it, truth transcends both light and darkness. Not to say that light or darkness are below, but to say that they do not matter.

Truth is truth, and light/darkness can not change that.

Some things, some truths are built on unstable ground, which is why human truths may become lies. However....for some reason I feel like I am not communicating what I am really trying to say. I can not seem to put it into the correct words.

Nour: I can understand you ... and I’ll take it as your own philosophy.

Truth can not be a lie, but people can lie about it. Truth can be hidden between two events or two actions.

I say "between light and darkness our shadow hides, is that means we don’t have shadow?
We do, but at some point, we lose our sense of it !”
You can stay like this forever or all what you have to do is just pass through it to find your shadow "witch's the truth in this case"

The truth, we can find it in the hollows of death and life, we can see it on the water as a reflection, a Face we can recognize at the very first second, but in fact, it contains much more than a naked truth. I mean, when you look at the water of some calm river at night, you can see your face but also you will find the sky reflection in the water not only your face! In this very moment, you may see only your face and you may see the whole picture, and both is true, but one is not completed and the other is so completed That you may lost in it.

This is my philosophy about it... I hope you did get me, cause I feel like I get you in a big maze !

Friday, August 7, 2009

Love in the Time of Cholera - Theatrical Trailer

Love in the Time of Cholera - Theatrical Trailer

It's Amazing Trailer. It made me know that it's great movie is going to be in the big screen ... I've saw the novel of it ... They said it's great one ...

soon, I'll get you the book (Cover & e-copy if i find it) and more info.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Step Up ...

To right or left .. up or down .. sway or hit the ground .. Tango, Hip Hop, Salsa, Ballet, ....., or any kind of Dances .. under the soft moon light or the burning sun shining .. on the roof, backyard, beach or your room .. with music or not .. it doesn't matter what your choice is as long as you dance in the first place ...

Just relax, close your eyes, clear your mind, listen to the real music of you heart, let your soul fly around you to see who you really are then ...... you'll find your thoughts flow so easy in a revolution like fire flies while you smile and HERE WE GO!

You start DANCING freely, mixing all your feelings, ideas, spirit, yourself, body .. mixing all the pictures, songs, books, characters, paintings ... hit the ground like you gonna change it, sway like you dance with your love, move your arms around like you spread flowers, jump in the air like you touch the sky .....

"Dance like you beat your Evil and bend for your Angles"

Then you'll totally forget all bad things and recall your best moments to make them live forever ... If You Dared YourSelf To Make It, Then you DID beat your Fear!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

From cost to cost …

It's a new day, a new sunrise, new moments born with it and new cold winds kill all the bad thoughts … it's a new day to take the boat and sail in the wild sea, its waves are so calm this morning and daughters of the air are flowing on the surface of the water drawing a peaceful way to the lost ghosts … with the first sun rays, the fog is vanishing slowly and my little boat is crossing his way with dolphins … I can not hear the sounds of the tortured souls, it's seems like they finally found their peace !

And your spirit … my silence is all I can do when I think of it … cause it's in every water atom touches my face with the wind of your sighs … this ocean chooses to hold you deep inside, safe, like its white pearls, lighting up its dark caves in depth, but at the same time, those caves full of the sad voices of the silver whales singing with your Wails … this tears me in pieces like I'm turning into magical dust mixed with oxygen so the creatures of the sea can breath …

Can you hear this loud music of the costs' people … it was their prayers to make the sun rise again … we knew that it will rise again, but you were loving it cause it gives you hope … I'm wondering, how could my sun rise again without you ?! … These waves stop to throw the white stones on the shores cause it knows there's no one to collect it any more … those orange trees in the end of the sands, its roses opened again but I can not smell the spring of it … And walnut Trees milk, did I lose my sense of taste or did it lost its taste? …

Nothing remained the same … everything changed, even me! … I'm losing myself slowly cause it –myself- lost you before … people read this deep down desire of death inside me and ask … what can I say, I deny it sometimes, but I can not lie to you … you're watching me from every where … you can hear this conversation between my soul, myself, my body … it's like Hawaii volcano, it's only Boiling inside, eating itself, but what on the surface is green land … I know I'm not your man that you used to know, but since I lost you, I'm the man of no one … only when you visit my dreams, but how often?

This morning, I tried to draw smile on my lips, but now, the sunset is steeling my soul away … if the sun was really drowning every day in this ocean, I would be so happy to give it my soul every time to be with you, but it just hard joke from the universe to laugh on the Ash of my days, to destroy every happy memory I could keep till now … my love, everything could be stolen from me except one thing, the hope that you used to give me, the hope that I hear every dawn in the music of sunrise, the hope of meeting you in some holy day, when I can touch you, hold you with my own hands once again … where the heaven is !

Nour Badr
Thursday 26/3/2009
11:30 pm before midnight

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Short movie - "......"

Maybe a small words can change peopl ... can change the world ... can change your Disteny ...

He said it ... to everyone he could possibly meet ...
He did it ... made them smile just for what they are ...
He won her ... He changed his disteny , he's with the one he love ...
He did it ... He changed her disteny by changing someone else's...

He couldnt do it all alone ... just when he found people interaction with him ... so he returne to the way he was ... smiling :)


enjoy this short movie

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Bang Bang .. !

Bang .. Bang ..
It's the old Watch in my Home ..
And its voice is screaming
Inside these wooden box ..
It's 12 warning ..
It's the beginning
It's A new year knocking !

Bang .. Bang ..
It's the red Heart of Mine
Beating so hard ..
Remember memories ..
Didn't happen ..
Words haven't been said

Bang .. Bang ..
It's my hand
Playing on this Harp ..
Music of an old band
Bang .. Bang .. Bang ..

Can you hear ?
This bang bang
Is my fear ..
It's my breath
In the sphere..
Can you hear ?
This bang bang
Is threaten my year ..
And taking away
My cheer ..

"Bang .. bang"
But I still can have a wish..
"Bang .. bang"
I didn't below the candles yet..
"Bang .. bang"
It's the ten ring
And before the twelve..
I can fly by my own wings
Catch the stars ..
And make evil bends

B A N G .. B A N G ...
I'm still here
And Angels can hear ..
And it may ..
In someday ..
They take me to Heaven !

Nour Badr
at 2:00 am

Friday, April 3, 2009

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Please ... !

ME ...

my tears is bleeding inside me ...
my heart pieces is raining a blood on my face ...
my dark sadness is going out to color my wolrd ...
my body is so sick as he deny to live ...
my soul is getting old and fall in autome ...

April ... you just started but i dont want to go on !
im so fragil to be in this world ...
please dont tell me that i'm going to start a new year !
cause i wanna close my eyes, and never wake up again ...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

..“But .. I Do “..

Maybe …
Maybe you don’t have a dream
But I do …

Maybe you stopped believing
And you don’t want to go on
But I do …

Maybe you don’t know yourself
But I do …

Maybe you don’t feel
You are special , I am special
You don’t see your gifts
But I do …

Maybe you get lost
In the dark and
No hope no more ,
Maybe you don’t care if you fall
But I do …

Maybe you don’t want to live
Beautiful colorful life
But I do …

When we have this fight
Maybe you don’t want to talk
But I do …

Maybe you don’t care
You don’t feel sad
But I do …

Maybe you don’t accept me
But I do …

Maybe you don’t think you hurt me
But I do …

Maybe you don’t feel my heart
You don’t hear it beating

Maybe you don’t love me
But I do …

Nour Badr 3/7/2008

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dust of Wishes

In some cloudy day, I was walking alone in the wet empty streets, wearing so many clothes, putting my hands in my jacket pockets, and my gray scarf is covering my hair and around my nick … my head was full of thoughts that was keeping me warm in front of this cold wind … the trees had empty branches except for little pinky and purple roses and they were falling already on me … there was a man who was cleaning the street from the fallen yellow leaves and roses, I don’t know why they're doing that … I like it to be there cause it gives the feeling of old beauty …

I was walking till I realize I passed my home, I didn’t mind so I kept walking … it's a so wonderful day and weather to me … suddenly, some crazy idea came into my head … I made sure that no one existed in the street, all markets and stores were closed, also every door and window, then I let go of my hair to the wind freely, opened my arms, closed my eyes and stand in the middle for a second, taking a deep breath with a big smile on my face .. During that, my scarf flied from my nick so I bent to take it to see my red shoes ... I was crazy enough to wear it today …

When I saw it, I wished that you were here to dance with me some tango like we used to do … I was holding my cell phone, so I turned on the music imagining you are here with me, one of your hands is holding mine and the other is around my waist and we started dancing … I was talking to you inside me… though you are far, I always feel you there in every step, every smile and every beat of my heart … I don’t know why I'm feeling safe and happy … maybe cause your words are totally honest, or maybe cause your voice is crossing the sky with your prayers to God …

It's been three hours and I was extremely living with my dance and the music, till it stopped, to realize that the light is about to disappear and darkness is going to be alive … so I went to my home taking a red rose from an old lady and when I get there, I held my pen and wrote to you this letter to tell you about this day and send you my golden dust of wishes … "love you forever" …

Nour Badr
Wednesday 2:00 mid night
Thursday 2:00 am


Monday, March 2, 2009

In your Soul before your Heart …

She woke up in the morning and she imagined that she is leaving her heart on the floor, its place is empty in her chest and she is walking away … away from herself, get lost into the shining truth breathless, powerless and non-believer …

She was walking on the remains of her life and she can hear the sound of the crash under her foot …

There was no bleeding from this gab in her body, but it was like a window to watch her thrown heart … every once in a while, she was recognizing it like there's some connection between them, but she was also denying…" I don’t want it "…

He's still beating, still alive … why are you still fighting? … Why do you want to be stick in this muddy life? … She was thinking with her crying eyes … someday you'll explode from homeless feelings and people will walk on your alive pieces with an evil smile on their faces …

She was screaming: "die … stop beating for love … love died so long ago … why do you still believe?"

Cause God made me from his soul. And his soul is light of love … when you look at the sky, you find the sun is disappearing behind the clouds and the rain is falling down for a small thirsty rose growing in the middle of the desert then, rise again to give it warmness and hope … when you see an innocent smile on a kid's tiny lips despite the distraction around … when you hear the singing of two old "man and woman" out loud with a radio …
When the truth and the word of right are still being said … are you still asking about love?

She wasn’t asking about love … she was a love seeker … she was looking for the safest place to hide … as he read her mind:
"You are just in the wrong place and wrong time…"
"Am I always in the wrong place and time? When will I be in the right ones?"
"When you believe in God, because he's in your soul before your heart…"

Nour Badr
Tuesday – in college

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Africa Night …

When night comes, everything turn to black even my thoughts … I look to the stars, small bright points in the sky and great gates to other worlds … every time I stand on my window and look at it, my eyes travel into it and my mind go through it trying to know the far secrets and find other world, my real world … I woke every morning feeling there's a huge gab in my soul, something is bushing my heart and put it in a small box … the sun rises, the clouds are moving, people are talking and the birds are singing while flying over the roads … they all have their own lives in a normal way except me , because my real life begins at the night …

How beautiful this golden sand, pure air, free running animals and over this hill, I can see wild green land with a brown horses eats the grass … under this old big tree there's someone I know lying under its shadow with a book on his chest … just as he used to do … and right beside him, my beloved home stands … I can hear the sound of the small bells on the door … so I laugh and run to my place, get close to my only man and move a white rose on his face to open his eyes … I smiled at him as he did and gave me a hello hug …

We were talking of many things till the night comes … and around the fire out of the house, we were setting with our friends, laughing and eating … my body was with them but my spirit was roaming in this wild land thinking how beautiful Africa night is ! ... There's a sound of the far music flying in this air, the smell of the wet grass and calm lakes … so I looked at my love gratefully and give him a sweet kiss …

Again, I woke up in my room in the city, and the darkness is still covering everything … I stand on the window to watch the stars as usual remembering my dream … During this, I saw two lovers, standing under the only lamb in the street holding hands, kissing each other and saying promises, even their shadows were so in love … I left my crying eyes to the sky "God" …

Nour Badr
Wednesday 21/1/2009
10:00 pm

Saturday, January 24, 2009

That's what you think ..

Special , Unique , Different … That is what you think about yourself , no one is like you , you deserve the best , so no body will be perfect for you , you are the only one who deserves you … You feel that people can’t understand you , even the closest to you , and you may feel good about this but you u can’t keep the loneliness away from you …

When you want to care about someone and he won’t give it a chance ; when you lose your trust in everything ; when there’s no much hope … Your heart beats so strong , you can’t breath , you look around and every one is busy by his own things , you scream , but the voice is within … The night falls , you’re laying on the bed , turning “us against the world” song on , and this power invades you , some memories comes into your mind make you smile … Some pictures give you inspiration , some people make you realize what you’re living for and stories of them make you believe again , and sometime , just staring is all you need …

You think so much about love , about the person you’ll fall with , will he give you what you dream of , you see that movie with all this romantic moments and it’s all coming again ; I want to live like this , then , you find yourself in fantasy land , but what if the wrong one loved you right !? …

Tuesday, April, 15th
Nour Badr

Friday, January 23, 2009

Live .. Love .. Sing .. Dance

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


It's the morning again, and the same view from the same window … nothing changed but seasons of the sun … the same old chair, the same old bed, the same broken walls and the same old house … the night is getting darker, the sun became bored but I was waiting for you …

Every night I was crossing the seas and I found you, fighting so brave behind the red lines … I get close to you, watching you saving so many souls … I ran to you and you looked surprised asking me about how I get here, so I put my hand on your mouth and gave you au fond kiss and my soul with it as a keeper angel … you smiled to me with your pure eyes which is like the calm sea and telling me "there's no good bye, only love" and sweep my tears away with your smile still shining on your face then, it's all slowly vanishing with the first light of the morning …

There was so much feeling inside, so much papers and feathers on the disk … the words in my head was in mess … how many times I set to write few words and put my feelings on the paper but it just keep running away … I've always thinking about my letters to you and if it has ever reached to you cause I'm saving it all on the wall beside the frame where I saved the first wild rose you gave to me …

The last flowers you put in the vase were beside our bed still, waiting for you to change it … the small heart that you draw on my hand was always keeping your warm touch … the memories of our last night were flying around and holding on in my mind … the sparkle in my eyes was fading but the hope in my heart was making it beat … It's been lots of days and very long to just pass by … you left me in no where, no time … "will you send me an angel?"

Sometimes, I was climbing the mountain just to call your name so loudly, to scream with all my power, get all my feelings out, falling apart on my knees and cry…

I look forward to heaven, I look forward to you … I was missing spending a warm night between your arms … day after day with sadness inside, day after day I did get weaker that I felt that my reflection in the mirror is fading away and is hardly there …

In someday, I stand on the top of the same mountain holding my hands to the sky and praying, I felt so much pain penetrate all my body as it's running with my blood … I screamed painfully and I didn’t know why did your name was the only word I was saying in this very moment … but suddenly, the pain was disappearing and I became like a peaceful river, I left my immortal body and entirely mixed with the tiny Atoms of the air, feeling the sweet cold, covered by the most pure light ever, flying over the white hells to the empty path of mine and all I was thinking of was you …

Then, I come to you my love crossing places and times … to the gray sky and the bloody lands … I saw the spirits lost, searching for their way to heaven while fear is breathing out the smoky air…I come to take you "love" to a place where we can catch the time and breath in happiness …

I found you in your lake of blood trying to stand up again, so I landed beside you letting my tears washing your pain … I held you close to my chest and I toke the light from the angels to full your heart, so I found your earthy clothe disappearing and the same pure light was covering you, your eyes were opening again and you toke my hand in yours and left this harmed body …

Finally together, we spend our last night on the earth in our wooden home and we went to heaven carrying all of our loving memories with us.

By Nour Badr
Last edit 14/1/2009

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Yesterday, Today, Forever

Yesterday when I was there, you came with big smile on your face and Hello words … hugs, kisses and warm meeting … I had things to tell with you, things that I would never say with anyone but you … freely I spoken and you were totally listening … I showed you my tears I never share, you felt my heart beats that no one knows about it, you read my thoughts, you catch my flying dreams with me and I live in yours, you know my story …

I look into your eyes, so I know how grateful I am … when I was so emotional and breathless, you held me to give me the far hope … your words are something else to me, and I am talking to you feeling so safe like I am throwing all my problems in a dark cave … We have fun, we get sad, we became philosophers in life or had this bad day that made us fall apart but in the end of the day we have us …

Sometimes I am so lost, can't sleep or even speak … Sometimes I became bad person, silent as the grave, not even smile … but, it's much beautiful how you can stand me, and you take my hand and hold it so tight and walk with me with no word, and I am still as I am but believe me I am so happy inside that you are here with me, beside me … you give me the space that I need and the inside relief that you understand me … and when you're closed, sad, have no intention to speak or don’t want my existence, I let you know that I am here for you then set you free cause I think that's what we do…

My friend, my family, my everything … it's enough for me to know that you exist somewhere, near or far, here or there, cause that made me feel relieve … may be, at some point, we lost that feeling about us but the small details, our memories and the moments we share, make it come back to us again, after we lost our faith, life ensure that it lives in us and we live in it … "I love you, I need you, I'm missing you in every step I walk, every word I say and every breath I take" it's just things I say to express my infinite feeling for you … every day I live is a miracle, but I love you as the miracle of my day …

* * This is to my angelical best friends, HAPPY NEW YEAR as forever friends * *

Nour Badr
Sat. 20/12/08