From cost to cost …

It's a new day, a new sunrise, new moments born with it and new cold winds kill all the bad thoughts … it's a new day to take the boat and sail in the wild sea, its waves are so calm this morning and daughters of the air are flowing on the surface of the water drawing a peaceful way to the lost ghosts … with the first sun rays, the fog is vanishing slowly and my little boat is crossing his way with dolphins … I can not hear the sounds of the tortured souls, it's seems like they finally found their peace !

And your spirit … my silence is all I can do when I think of it … cause it's in every water atom touches my face with the wind of your sighs … this ocean chooses to hold you deep inside, safe, like its white pearls, lighting up its dark caves in depth, but at the same time, those caves full of the sad voices of the silver whales singing with your Wails … this tears me in pieces like I'm turning into magical dust mixed with oxygen so the creatures of the sea can breath …

Can you hear this loud music of the costs' people … it was their prayers to make the sun rise again … we knew that it will rise again, but you were loving it cause it gives you hope … I'm wondering, how could my sun rise again without you ?! … These waves stop to throw the white stones on the shores cause it knows there's no one to collect it any more … those orange trees in the end of the sands, its roses opened again but I can not smell the spring of it … And walnut Trees milk, did I lose my sense of taste or did it lost its taste? …

Nothing remained the same … everything changed, even me! … I'm losing myself slowly cause it –myself- lost you before … people read this deep down desire of death inside me and ask … what can I say, I deny it sometimes, but I can not lie to you … you're watching me from every where … you can hear this conversation between my soul, myself, my body … it's like Hawaii volcano, it's only Boiling inside, eating itself, but what on the surface is green land … I know I'm not your man that you used to know, but since I lost you, I'm the man of no one … only when you visit my dreams, but how often?

This morning, I tried to draw smile on my lips, but now, the sunset is steeling my soul away … if the sun was really drowning every day in this ocean, I would be so happy to give it my soul every time to be with you, but it just hard joke from the universe to laugh on the Ash of my days, to destroy every happy memory I could keep till now … my love, everything could be stolen from me except one thing, the hope that you used to give me, the hope that I hear every dawn in the music of sunrise, the hope of meeting you in some holy day, when I can touch you, hold you with my own hands once again … where the heaven is !


Nour Badr
Thursday 26/3/2009
11:30 pm before midnight