Dreams, Lines & more Beyond

Picture - From Alex


Since so long, when I had this dream of Nasa and Space, I have a great battel going on inside . Yesterday, when i came back home, I Smelled Kerosene in the hall and I knew they are oil paints. I reminded when my Sis was showing me her Palette of painting; I hold it in my hands and touched gently and it’s all came back to me. I tried to hide me tears and I thought: “this supposes to be mine!” No hard feelings, but really “this supposes to be mine!”.

I was the first to draw,I'm the one who is really feel the paper, colors & How to feel free with them, Who was watching my father during painting and Sculpts on wood, Who was going with him to his work evening since I was a kid, and now, every once and a while I feel like “left over” !

Here is my Space in the Space to write whatever I feel, so, don’t tell my you are selfish, black inside and arrogent cause you don’t dare to say so. Here, where nobody can hear me but you “who can understand this clearly” I am speaking of myself, for once, I need to speak about myself forgetting about people and say “Go to hell”.

Yeah, I admit it…I have lots of talents: Draw, Write, Design, Sing, Sight, Philosophing, Creativety, ……… and other things. I do have all these things. Sometime I can’t believe I exist, and sometime I feel like I am the badass here. I’m not an angle; I’m a unique human being.
Sometime I feel like I am defending myself “believe me, you don’t have to, Nour!” but also in a moment, I believe that my place is behind the red Curtains.

This Thursday, I was watching Troy at 1:00 am and I had strong feeling about the way I’ll die. I was watching Hector and I knew that I am like him in lots of things, and also my dreams at night, and my dream of “how I’ll die in –Wa Nalka Al-Aheba with Amr khaled” and my favorite Cartoons of my childhood “Zoro, Spiderman, Lady Oscar –Rose De Versaille- and batman” they all trying to tell me something, to complete a big puzzle to me of the way of my life from the moment I opened my eyes till the moment of closing them. It’s really big painting and alive too and in the background of all this, big Orchestra is playing a very amazing piece of music “opera, Tango Argantino, Jazz, Irish music, Greek music” they all together dancing cheek to cheek.

Love … Oh, Love … an endless poem so strong like Niagara Falls, a secret place between the stars, small pieces that make my life and smell like sweet Magnolia under the shadow of Linden … it’s what makes this world get wilder and our steps get closer. It’s what make the absence is a sleeping volcano Explode on meeting.