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Thursday, March 26, 2009

..“But .. I Do “..



Maybe …
Maybe you don’t have a dream
But I do …

Maybe you stopped believing
And you don’t want to go on
But I do …

Maybe you don’t know yourself
But I do …

Maybe you don’t feel
You are special , I am special
You don’t see your gifts
But I do …

Maybe you get lost
In the dark and
No hope no more ,
Maybe you don’t care if you fall
But I do …

Maybe you don’t want to live
Beautiful colorful life
But I do …

When we have this fight
Maybe you don’t want to talk
But I do …

Maybe you don’t care
You don’t feel sad
But I do …

Maybe you don’t accept me
But I do …

Maybe you don’t think you hurt me
But I do …

Maybe you don’t feel my heart
You don’t hear it beating

Maybe you don’t love me
But I do …

Nour Badr 3/7/2008


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Dust of Wishes


In some cloudy day, I was walking alone in the wet empty streets, wearing so many clothes, putting my hands in my jacket pockets, and my gray scarf is covering my hair and around my nick … my head was full of thoughts that was keeping me warm in front of this cold wind … the trees had empty branches except for little pinky and purple roses and they were falling already on me … there was a man who was cleaning the street from the fallen yellow leaves and roses, I don’t know why they're doing that … I like it to be there cause it gives the feeling of old beauty …

I was walking till I realize I passed my home, I didn’t mind so I kept walking … it's a so wonderful day and weather to me … suddenly, some crazy idea came into my head … I made sure that no one existed in the street, all markets and stores were closed, also every door and window, then I let go of my hair to the wind freely, opened my arms, closed my eyes and stand in the middle for a second, taking a deep breath with a big smile on my face .. During that, my scarf flied from my nick so I bent to take it to see my red shoes ... I was crazy enough to wear it today …

When I saw it, I wished that you were here to dance with me some tango like we used to do … I was holding my cell phone, so I turned on the music imagining you are here with me, one of your hands is holding mine and the other is around my waist and we started dancing … I was talking to you inside me… though you are far, I always feel you there in every step, every smile and every beat of my heart … I don’t know why I'm feeling safe and happy … maybe cause your words are totally honest, or maybe cause your voice is crossing the sky with your prayers to God …

It's been three hours and I was extremely living with my dance and the music, till it stopped, to realize that the light is about to disappear and darkness is going to be alive … so I went to my home taking a red rose from an old lady and when I get there, I held my pen and wrote to you this letter to tell you about this day and send you my golden dust of wishes … "love you forever" …

Nour Badr
Wednesday 2:00 mid night
Thursday 2:00 am

22/1/2009

Monday, March 2, 2009

In your Soul before your Heart …




She woke up in the morning and she imagined that she is leaving her heart on the floor, its place is empty in her chest and she is walking away … away from herself, get lost into the shining truth breathless, powerless and non-believer …

She was walking on the remains of her life and she can hear the sound of the crash under her foot …

There was no bleeding from this gab in her body, but it was like a window to watch her thrown heart … every once in a while, she was recognizing it like there's some connection between them, but she was also denying…" I don’t want it "…

He's still beating, still alive … why are you still fighting? … Why do you want to be stick in this muddy life? … She was thinking with her crying eyes … someday you'll explode from homeless feelings and people will walk on your alive pieces with an evil smile on their faces …

She was screaming: "die … stop beating for love … love died so long ago … why do you still believe?"

Cause God made me from his soul. And his soul is light of love … when you look at the sky, you find the sun is disappearing behind the clouds and the rain is falling down for a small thirsty rose growing in the middle of the desert then, rise again to give it warmness and hope … when you see an innocent smile on a kid's tiny lips despite the distraction around … when you hear the singing of two old "man and woman" out loud with a radio …
When the truth and the word of right are still being said … are you still asking about love?

She wasn’t asking about love … she was a love seeker … she was looking for the safest place to hide … as he read her mind:
"You are just in the wrong place and wrong time…"
"Am I always in the wrong place and time? When will I be in the right ones?"
"When you believe in God, because he's in your soul before your heart…"


Nour Badr
24/03/2009
Tuesday – in college